*insert hilarious headline here*

A day in ridiculous news headlines. I love it when the world is so much weirder than anyone could invent.

Reprieve for big pig ‘the size of pony’

Involves a pig named Bruce and a Uki hostage who wants to use an outdoor toilet. You fill in the rest.

The case of the missing Missy

Don’t know what this is about, except that it involves our PM giving our foremost lesbo singer/songerwriter a handjob.

Australia clear of contaminated milk

It is shipped to New Zealand. Milkmen henceforth promise to stop jizzing into the closest containers they can find.

Thief tries to give priest guilt trip

This, I have to just quote direct. “… Catholic guilt was turned on its head when a knife-wielding thief – forcefully disarmed by the priest he was robbing – turned to the elderly father and said: “I only wanted money … you’re a priest and you’re not helping.” Father Mello then replied, “‘Blimey, you came here with a knife. Mamma mia! that’s not the right thing.'” I gotta try that next time.

WHO says nearly 2 billion at risk from dengue in Asia

Who indeed? I demand to know.

Haus ov Duum declared number 1 source for news & verbal spews!

Wow! That’s nice of SMH.com.au to pick that up. How strange. But, thanks!

–lalaz

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2 responses to “*insert hilarious headline here*

  1. I KNOW, RIIIGHT?

    Check out this breaking news on SMH.com.au:

    “Jason Donovan devastated by Kylie Minogue’s telephone break-up”

    FOR REAL.

  2. another good one today:

    Nice plant, shame about the bouquet of dead rat

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