most days i wake up and hate the world. today i love several things. this is worth noting.
what i love today:
- “You’ll Love Coles… Belgian Chocolate” :
How did they KNOW?!
I’ll tell you how they knew i’d love it: they filled their mix with traces of a little highly addictive substance i like to call COCAINE.
- Papa Pharrell:
aww. pho-real is gon’ be a daddy! maybe he’ll clean up his skeazy ways. how good is the word skeazy? damn good. i don’t usually lurk around celebri-sites, but i happened upon dlisted.com today and this is what they had to say about mr. williams becoming a father:
This is the worst fucking Monday ever. I woke up with a hangover and I didn’t even booze last night, my air conditioning is about to go on strike, my TV is acting wonk, I just ate the last Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake ice cream bar and now I find out that some skank is knocked up with Pharrell Williams’ baby. And that skank is not me. Tuesday can’t come sooner.
Page Six reports that Pharrell knocked up some model-type. I hope the skank gets really fat. I hope she gets fucking obese. I hope she gets cankles in her arms. A friend of Pharrell’s said the whore is really pregnant, “Pharrell is extremely private and won’t release any details.”
This shit isn’t right. Although, I think I just got pregnant from looking at a picture of his sexy weasel face. If I am pregnant, I’m going to hit him up hard for child support. And by “child support,” I mean sexual favors.
- Christian Bale as Batman:
Heath Ledger is amazing, awe-inspiring, one of the best performances in years, the perfect predecessor to Jack Nicholson’s Joker… but Christian Bale is AWESOME. He’s perfected the alchemy of Batman: 1 part smooth billionaire playboy, 1 part stoic bat, 5 parts DREAMY. A colleague and I were just discussing the news that CB has been reported by his Mum and sister as ‘abusing’ them yesterday (details unclear). Said colleague said she thinks CB is a great actor, but he leaves her cold, somehow. I believe he leaves me cold in the best way.
- Christian Bale in general:
but he is just VERY GOOD.
- The Gube :
he is HILARIOUS!
- Denny Crane getting his groove back, in last night’s episode of Boston Legal.
- Falafel Rolls!!!! :