i was walking in the RAIN from the bus this morning, on my way to my once-a-fortnight coffee (it’s pay day), and this particularly aggressive walker was gaining on me with her CLAP CLAP CLAPPITY FUCKING CLAP heels. after about four minutes, she caught up to me and (in a voice that matched the aggression in her walk) said “excuuuuse me!, EXCUSE me? EXCUUUUSEE MEEEE!!!”… i finally turned around, not understanding she was addressing her screech at me. when i did turn around, i was met with a rather judgemental look and the frank statement that “your skirt is hitched up”. i looked down to my oversized tshirt (which is probably not an appropriate subsitute for a dress, but whatever), and saw that it was barely lifted ONE CENTIMETRE (i have since measured it). i laughed (KINDLY) and said “oh, it doesn’t matter!”, but she semi-scowled and said “oh”. and then i fucking ruined it by saying “i’m wearing leggings, it’s fine!” even though i’m clearly wearing stockings. she then turned without saying anything and clip-clopped off, thus overtaking me. IT WAS ALL A PLOY. you see, there are two coffee places one can choose from of a morning in chippendale (where i work): one is famed and favoured by most, and the other is my favourite, because they make a mean soy latte, and only charge $2.50! no extra for soy! and i just really don’t like the other coffee. it’s a personal choice. ANYWAY. clappity heel prude lady storms ahead of me and GETS TO MY COFFEE PLACE FIRST. thus rendering me completely unable to enter said coffee place. so here i am drinking my $3.00 giant cup of bitter spew, an hour and a half after buying it. does this woman realise she has deprived someone of their ONE coffee a fortnight?! i hope her coffee was horrible. and NO i am not overreacting!
but i don’t like to end things on a bitter note, so here’s something sweet:
(but more on that later)