What I should drink in the morning: hot water and lemon.
What I drink instead: two instant coffees, which, coincidentally, are past their use by dates.
What I should do all morning: work.
What I do instead: read Go Fug Yourself, which has, at least, returned to form of late, and look up bling jewellery I can’t afford, already, even though I only got paid yesterday.
What I should do after eating lunch: walk straight upstairs.
What I do instead: stop at the reception, and purchase a Giant Caramello Koala, even though I promised myself last night I would really seriously not eat chocolate today. I say this because my teeth have started to hurt from over-consumption, not because I wish to diet.
How I should’ve acted when someone from marketing brought up a changed brief: nice.
How I acted: bitchily, while slamming my fingers onto my calculator, like I’m important or something.
How I should feel, after reading my Marie Claire (which I didn’t even have to pay for, cos I have a mum who loves me) in the sun at lunch break: happy.
How I felt: annoyed that someone came and sat next to me, asking questions like where do you live, and for how long and have you been troubled by World Youth Day?
How I should feel, after reading about the rape camps in Darfur, and donating a small but hopefully helpful sum to Avaaz, to help with this dire situation: a mixed emotion of sadness, relief, and doing-goodness.
How I end up feeling: annoyed that this donation is apparently not tax deductible.
What my reaction should be when I return upstairs to find that noone has messaged my phone or sent me an amusing email or g-chatted to me in my break: nothing, whatever, who needs all of that? At least I’m not incarcerated in an evil place of torture.
What my reaction is: I hate everyone! Why doesn’t anyone love me? Whatever!
What I should be doing now: work.
What I am doing: whinging about my day.
What I am: a pretty crap human being.
What I should be: a better one.
What I am going to do now: eat my Koala.
What I should be doing: ringing a dentist.