feck food

I just ate some really disgusting Caramel Cheesecake from Michel’s Patisserie.

It had LEMON RINDS in it! Like, nuclear fluroescent yellow bits of death shrap! IN A CARAMEL CHEESECAKE! It’s like they ran out of “Gooey, gelatinous brown shit” and had to substitute with an old lemon they found in the gutter.

At least it wasn’t human cum, I guess. Which is the story we heard last night, about a woman who contracted mouth herpes from a man who ejaculated over her steak.

Lesson of the story: don’t eat in Burwood.

Oh, and don’t eat Michel’s. Which I think everyone already knew. (But I was in a sugar slump).

–lalaz

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5 responses to “feck food

  1. GOOD FUCKING LORD. lemon? they cannot be serious. they probably had to put it in to be classified as “food” (a la gherkins in a cheeseburger).

  2. Who told you that story??

    That is deeply revolting on all accounts.

  3. Ps hating gherkins is a lot like hating life.

  4. what a lovely addage! (do you like that? it’s like a mixture between ‘adage’ and ‘add’. clever, non?)

    you going to post today, ms o?

  5. yes, within the hour. am currently recovering from a yum cha-addled daze…

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