I just ate some really disgusting Caramel Cheesecake from Michel’s Patisserie.
It had LEMON RINDS in it! Like, nuclear fluroescent yellow bits of death shrap! IN A CARAMEL CHEESECAKE! It’s like they ran out of “Gooey, gelatinous brown shit” and had to substitute with an old lemon they found in the gutter.
At least it wasn’t human cum, I guess. Which is the story we heard last night, about a woman who contracted mouth herpes from a man who ejaculated over her steak.
Lesson of the story: don’t eat in Burwood.
Oh, and don’t eat Michel’s. Which I think everyone already knew. (But I was in a sugar slump).